The Bubble

Checkmate

The mother (raises her voice while waving her index finger): “That’s it! I’ve had it! If you don’t get dressed instantly, I will renounce all your bonuses for this week; both the everyday chocolate bonus and the Friday toy bonus!”

The child doesn’t wince. In a very calm voice he answers: “This will not be in your benefit, mom. If you do that, I will not give you ANY hugs this week. And if you will continue to threaten me like this; I might even stop talking to you altogether (gets excited) and about the hugs: I might refuse to hug you for one thousand days, or one hundred million days (calms down) so you MUST realize by now, mommy, that talking to me in this way won’t do you any good at all.”

Florida

Hadas: “Wow! Tomorrow you’re finally going to school! You’ve been sick for a whole week! I’m sure that your teacher will be so excited! She will probably ask: “Daniel, where have you been all this time?” What will you tell her, when she asks you?"
Daniel, candidly: “I’ll tell her that I was in Montreal”.
Hadas, surprised: “Montreal?!?!”
Daniel: “No, no – Florida. I will tell her that I was in Florida.”

A simple matter of life and death

A family portrait circa 1960.

The mother: “This is grandma, with her brother and her father and mother which were my grandparents and this is her grandfather, her father’s father, which is my great grandfather”.
The child; “Yes. And they died.”
The mother: “That’s true.”
The child: “How did they die? Did they fight someone and then died?”
The mother: “No, they were ill and old and then they died.”
The child: “Like I was ill? In the winter?”
The mother: “No. Not like you. People don’t die of ear infection, but sometimes they become ill with a serious illness.”
Pause…
The child: “And where am I?”
The mother: “What do you mean?”
The child: “In the picture? Where am I?”
The mother: “It was before you were born.”
The child: “So I was in your tummy?”
The mother: “No, it was before that. You didn’t even exist. It was before I was born, you see?”
The child: “So where was I?”

Passion

His relationships are passionate, just like mine were. I look at him and feel a pang in my chest. How can I protect him?
With great passion comes great pain. “Great pleasure, and feeling too” says Uri, trying to comfort me. I look at this photo of mine when I was his age and see him in me. Boy how surprised I was when Melissa said, after looking at it: “he looks very much like his father, though”. “But we look like twins!” I said in response.
Either she has no eyes or it’s just in my head.
When they told him “stop looking at us, go play with someone else”, and then again “go away!” and his lip trembled, I felt this rage growing inside me. “How dare you talk to him like that!” I yelled at the little boy “Cheeky!” I added, as if this wasn’t enough, and took Daniel away, holding his little hand in mine.
How can I keep him from getting hurt?
I find it strange; I worked so hard all these years to mature, to let go of these childhood aches, to be careful, to beware, to restrain my feelings, to prevent myself from getting hurt, to be self-contained. How I worked so hard all these years, only to become three and a half years old all over again.

Bambi

At dinner with friends:

Hadas: Which movie did you let him watch?”
Izzy: “Bambi.”
Hadas: “Oh no! But it’s so sad! How could you do it? I was hoping he would manage to go through life without watching it.”
Izzy, apologizing: “I didn’t know that. That’s what he asked to see. He was very definite. I was sure he had seen it before.”
Hadas: “But Bambi’s mother dies, and it’s so sad, how will he cope with that?”
Joan: “I cry every time I see it. That’s a very sad movie. What’s that thing with Disney and dead mothers?”

Later

Hadas: “Hi, how’s the movie?”
Daniel: “Nice. Look! That’s his mother. She’s teaching him to speak.”
Hadas, anxious: “Really? You know what honey? It gets very sad later; maybe we will turn off the TV? You can watch another movie if you like, Toy Story, perhaps?”
Daniel: “No! I want to see Bambi!”
Hadas: “But it gets very sad. His mother dies. The hunter kills her. Are you sure you want to see it?”
Daniel: “Yes.”

Izzy: “Well? How is he?”
Hadas: “I don’t know. Bambi was there with his mother, I was too worried so I asked him to turn it off and told him bambi’s mother dies.”
Uri and Izzy: “Oh no! Why did you do that? It was Bambi’s father! His mother died already and Daniel didn’t notice!”
Hadas: “Oh, dear. I was so worried. I was sure it was the mother.”

Uri: “How is it going? How’s the movie?”
Daniel, worried: “It’s nice, but mommy said that a wicked hunter kills Bambi’s mother.
Hadas: “No, honey, I’ve made a mistake. Maybe it happens in another movie.”

On the following day:

Daniel:  “Mommy, I want to have a hunter’s costume.”
Hadas, surprised: “really? Why? What does a hunter wear?”
Daniel: “He wears boots and these pants and this shirt and has a big gun. I want a big gun too.”
Hadas: “Why”
Daniel: “because I want to kill ALL the animals. For example, I want to kill the fly that wanted to eat my soup at the yard, and the moth in my room too! I want to kill ALL these animals.”

Pipi Hands

Red on Green.

Daniel: “give me your hand”
Hadas: “o.k”
She gives him her hand, they walk hand in hand in the house.
Daniel: “today, at the nursery, the girls with the red shirt said I had pipi hands”.
Hadas: “really?
Daniel: “yes”.

Later that day, Hadas: "Uri, did you hear what Daniel said? The girls at the nursery, I think it was the twins, told Daniel he had pipi hands. I think he was very upset by it. He kept asking me to give him my hand and was very offended if I didn’t do that".
Uri: “I don’t think there’s anything we can do. Don’t worry, it will be all right".

The next day: Daniel, sobbing: “why didn’t you give me your hand?”
Hadas: I can’t walk around in the house hand in hand with you for the whole day. What’s wrong with you? What’s this hand thing?”
Daniel: “you know why I wanted to hold your hand?”
Hadas: “no”.
Daniel: “It’s because I love you”.
Hadas: “I love you too, but I can’t hold your hand all the time, we are two separate people. I have things to do, you know”.
Daniel, sobs: “but I wanted you to hold my hand:

Pause.

Hadas: “you know what? I think that you are still upset about these girls that told you unpleasant things.
Daniel: “yes”
Hadas: “well, that’s very silly, because you are the most handsome clever strong boy there is, and you are a superhero".
Daniel: “that’s not true. I’m a knight”
Hadas: “sorry, a knight. Anyway, you are so handsome and strong and clever and if anyone tells you anything unpleasant you should pity them because they are jealous of you. And you know what?”
Daniel: “what”
Hadas , excited: “you should pity them, because you can turn your back on them and not play with them if they’re not nice, but they can’t escape from themselves. If someone says something unpleasant to you, don’t pay any attention to them, just turn around and don’t play with them. There are plenty of nice children you can play with”.
Danie (pensive): “but I can’t”
Hadas: “why?”
Daniel: “because I don’t know how to turn around”.

Grapes

Daniel: “what is this chair made of’?
Hadas: “wood”
Daniel: “and what is this fork made of?”
Hadas: “it is made out of metal. Metal is found at the bottom of the earth and men takes it out of there, forms it, and uses it according to his needs”.
Daniel: “and what are these grapes made of?”
Hadas: “grapes grow on a vine. Do you remember that we visited grandma’s friend who has a vine in her yard and we picked the grapes and ate them?”
Daniel: "yes, and they were delicious”.
Hadas: “that’s true!”
Daniel: “and what is this cookie made of?”
Hadas: “do you remember that we made pancakes?”
Daniel: “Yes”.
Hadas: “and what did we make it from?”
Daniel: "milk, and flour".
Hadas: “that’s true! and sugar, and eggs. You see: most cakes and cookies are made out of these ingredients and then you add things to them like chocolate, or raisins.”
Daniel; “and what is this plate made of?”
Hadas: “glass, and glass is made out of sand”.
Daniel: “and what is this curtain made of?”
Hadas: “it’s made out of cotton, like we saw on the fields on the way to Jerusalem, remember?
Daniel: “Yes”
Hadas, Holding the grapes: “And what are these grapes made of?
Daniel: “Look! You take the eggs. Then you put some wood into it, and  add some glass and sugar. This is how you make grapes!”

The Whale

Watching the IMAX Volcanoes of the Deep Sea at the Ontario Science Center.

Daniel: "Are we flying now?"
Hadas: “No, it just feels like flying. If you are scared, you don’t have to watch, just close your eyes.”
Daniel: closes his eyes.
Hadas: “Don’t close your eyes all the time, it’s a shame, look at this, it’s so beautiful.”
Daniel, opening his eyes: “are we at the sea now?”
Hadas: “No. It just feels like we are in the sea. But we are not. We are sitting at the theater, look at me, do you see?”
Daniel: "will we see a whale?"
Hadas: "Yes, we might."
Daniel: closes his eyes.
Hadas: “look at the fishes, it’s magnificent. Why do your close your eyes?”
Daniel: “because if the whale comes, it will eat us.”
Hadas: “Honey, it’s not real. It’s just like watching television, only bigger. The whale can’t eat us”
Daniel: “can we go now? I want to go home”.
Hadas: “Are you sure? Look how wonderful this is.”
Daniel: “yes. I’m sure”
Hadas: “well, o.k.”

The hospital

Your precious child is about to have an operation. The time was set more than a month beforehand. The time passes quickly. The more the date is getting nearer, the more you find yourself nervous and miserable. You shout at the whole world. Even at your neighbor, without any reasonable explanation. You feel a bit mad. You want to tear the world apart. You hardly sleep at night. You wake up with a vision of your child, extremely pale, lying on his sickbed, looking at you helplessly.
The day comes. Your child, who trusts you so much, lets you dress him up with the hospital’s pajamas and chats amiably with the nurses and doctors. A nurse rolls his bed to the operation room. Like a lamb to the slaughter, you keep repeating in your mind. Like a lamb to the slaughter.
You wait an hour and a half until you can see him again. He is asleep. You carefully watch him breath. He wakes up and cries. You feel so nauseated you almost faint on the recovery’s room floor. He is taken to his room at the children’s ward. He is thirsty and hungry and nervous. He eats a whole tray of hospital’s food and than laughs and walks and pees. In the evening you take him to your mother’s house where he recovers very quickly. Two days after the operation you take him home. You are so relaxed and happy to be home. The storm is over. You can go back to your old self. Back to your old life. The passing weeks seem like a faraway dream. You are at peace.

Bunny

Daniel: The bunny died,.
Hadas: ohhh, really? When?
Daniel: Today, at the nursery.
Hadas: what happened to it?
Daniel, excited:  I found it. Asaf cought it and put it in the garbage and than he took it out and than the bunny climbed on this rock and than it jumped and than it died.
Hadas: Ohhhhhh, no! And what did Sharon say?
Daniel: That it died. And she put it in a plastic bag.
Hadas: Ohhhhhh.
Daniel: The bunny died.  It climbed on this rock and it jumped and it fell and it died. And it had no head.
Hadas: Are you sure?
Daniel: Yes.